drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
