escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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