just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
