i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
