youre lurking in front of me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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