Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
