i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
