do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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