I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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