Don't you send me to vm
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
