sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
