I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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