he thought i was a dude.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
