The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
