I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
