He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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