Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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