On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize