I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize