Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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