apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
