when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize