Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We are two peas in an std pod
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
