We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
