I wish I could punch you in the face.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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