You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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