My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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