i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
