What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
