I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
