She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
