If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
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