Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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