Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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