Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
