I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
