I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
