Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
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I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
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I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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