Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize