so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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