Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
