Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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