Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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