Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
