i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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