I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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