hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
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so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
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I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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