my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed š
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Thanks for going with me today. Itās been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
Itās called āshopping for lingerieā and itās one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
