i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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