She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
