do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
