One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
