i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
