drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
