do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
