Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
