hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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