ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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